Wednesday, February 19, 2014

WWWW: The War on Women Ft. Rape Culture

It’s when you’re six and don’t understand why your brother gets to play after dinner while you have to do the dishes.

It’s after a second date when you get chastised by your friend for not kissing him when he spent all that money on you.

It’s waking up to someone you trusted with his hands up your shirt.

It’s an eating disorder stemming from low self confidence perpetuated through television advertisements of what it means to be beautiful.



Due to the embarrassing amount of people I’ve come across that are unaware/refuse to believe that there is a continuing war on women, I’m sending out a few public service announcements with posts like these to clear up a few things and hopefully to get you to start thinking about what’s really going on. It’s critical now more than ever to become aware and become a force for good.

So welcome to Clean Enough Laundry's Whatever We Want Wednesday:

The War on Women: Rape Culture

If you feel like women deserve economic, social, and political equality in relation to men CONGRATS, YOU’RE A FEMINIST. I know what you’re thinking.... “Agh! Don’t label me as one of those man hating blood sucking makeup-less freaks” Secret: We all don’t burn bras and refuse to shave our armpits in order to stick it to the man.

**Important disclaimer that I feel I shouldn’t have to spell out for some folks, but I’m not taking chances here: Feminism isn’t about being better than men. It’s not about proving that we’re superior or deserve more pay than men in the work force (one would think that would be a little make more on the dollar for the same work....than the opposite sex...). It’s about reaching equality in critical areas, improving the lives of women worldwide and reaching the same plane of men so that together we can make something incredible with our experiences in this life.

Women are constantly being told what is and isn’t “acceptable” for them. This ranges from attire to make up to body weight. Women are bombarded with media from all sides on what hot and attractive looks like. Often, media uses the sexualization of women to get this point across. This sends the harmful message that women should have the desire to appear hot and sexy for men, leading to the objectification of women everywhere for men’s pleasure. From high heels to foot binding, products and tradition have guided a young woman out of her potential comfort zone into the “real world” through the lenses of subordination for men. What of her intellect?


Here’s the part where the men start rising in protest claiming that they’re the victims of media socialization for masculinity, too. Good, I’m glad you’re here. It is men that run the majority of the media industry, so you’re more than welcome to express your concerns to your fellow sex. Also, please realize that by complaining about the pressure to live up to masculinity, you’re complaining about getting the better end of the deal. You’re seen as a doer, a go getter, a provider, an independent individual who can get what he wants while women are fighting to be seen that way while dealing with constant objectification/sexualization/subordination to meet your needs. Rape is being encouraged as a war tactic in some countries in order to impregnate the woman with an enemy child which ultimately leads to her husband divorcing her while she is being purged of a society for being “unfaithful”. Axe is telling you to spray yourself with scented water and the ladies will come flocking. Read this chart about what the world thinks of you. Sit down. 

Rape Culture: the environment that emphasizes and glorifies concepts such as victim blaming with an attempt to justify rape or categorize it in a way that lessens the gravity of the act.

Representative Todd Akin, folks.

Phrases that perpetuate the war on women:

“Well, yeah he forced himself on her but she was drinking/passed out/on drugs/dressed ‘slutty’/played coy/etc. She was practically asking for it”
VERY IMPORTANT: no one asks to get raped. Unless she gives you coherent consent to do whatever you want with her, you do not have permission to. No ifs, ands, or buts. She does not owe you anything because you paid for a date. If this is your mentality, you should consider soliciting prostitution. 

We need to start emphasizing who is responsible for rape:

1. If you see a woman having trouble on the side of the road, do not mistake this for an opportunity to rape. Help the woman if she permits. Do not rape her.
2. Do not carry any type of weapon on you at night looking for women who are alone. 
3. Do not look for women who are alone at night, period.
4. Let’s not forget to never slip any kind of drugs in her drink, ever
5. If a woman rejects your advances, stop advancing. When in doubt, remember consent is a thing!
6. Refrain from hiding in corners/in between cars/in parking garages.
  This will help you be more visible to women and will help prevent you from raping them.

Seems like common sense, right? Unfortunately, articles like this perpetuate the distorted mentality of rape culture with quotes like, “ If a man finds a woman SO incredibly desirable that he would throw his freedom, reputation, his whole life away to f*** her, that shows the woman is on the highest echelon of desirability” Let’s just let that sink in for a minute. With that logic, I could say someone should be honored that I murdered them because I found them so desirable of death that I was willing to go to prison just to kill them. Please don’t downplay rape or any form of sexual harassment towards anyone.

“You really shouldn’t wear’s going to be hard for men to control their thoughts around you”:
...and yet, these poor weak minded men that can’t control their own thoughts somehow control nations. This is offensive to both men and women. Women should dress in a way that is most comfortable to them and not have to expect their personal worth to be determined by others. Men shouldn’t be illustrated as barbaric creatures that can’t possibly be held accountable of controlling their thoughts. We all can control our thoughts and should all be held completely responsible for what we think and how we choose to act. I’ve often heard the phrase that women will end up with the type of man that they dress for. I have a few problems with this. 1. I will “end up” with the type of man that doesn’t expect me to dress for him. 2. Gonna need someone to explain to me how the women in the Middle East, many of which abide by a dress code much more strict than the West, have the highest occurrences of rape:



Rape culture is a very real mental poison today and it's important for all of us to be aware of it and stop its harmful spread. Talk to your sons and daughters about these things now. Have those uncomfortable conversations. Be an influence for good in their lives and stand up against victim blaming and inequality against women. Through this empowerment, we can be just a little more confident in the rising generation.