Saturday, March 22, 2014

FFF: Southern Life- Boat Shoes and Belt Buckles

Hey! How y'all doin' tonight?
One of the goals we have here on (Faux) Fashion Friday (or Saturday in this case)
is to accurately represent each group we "feature."
Clearly.
We've gone to extensive lengths to closely research what is in style for workout moms, puff jacket-wearers, attendees of Sundance and the like.

So...for today we've got our own expert southerner, Birdie, to show us the two vastly different styles that can be found in the deep south.

(side note: TEXAS IS THE SOUTH SO TAKE YOUR WEAK IDIOTIC ARGUMENTS ELSEWHERE I AM CLEARLY VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS - BIRDIE)

Anyway. What you'll find on the southern half of this great nation of ours is two very different flavors of southern.

Exhibit A. Southern Prepster/Southern Belle
(usually interchangeable but we won't generalize just in case)
Variations on this may include actual southern belles from large plantation families with a TON of old Southern money.
Also college-age sorority girls wearing their (always bright colored) Martha's vineyard oversize t-shirts, visors, fanny packs, and...get this: Chacos. What?

"Tell me about it, stud."
(Grease actually takes place on the west coast but try and tell me that's not a fitting caption)
A Southern prepster/southern belle can be located a mile away by her wardrobe full of outlandishly bright colors, pearl necklaces, sundresses, and nautical wear, despite the fact that very rarely does this demographic actually engage in any kind of ocean sailing (more on this later)

Mint nails and a handful of James Avery rings - A MUST
(none of these rings are actually from James Avery tho-All from national park giftshops.
Just kidding. J. Crew.)
Perfectly manicured down to the very detail, this girl never leaves home without a topcoat and her berry lip stain.

Sweater: J. Crew
Button down: J. Crew
Shorts: J. Crew
Knee highs: J. Crew
Sperrys: J. Crew
Sunnies: J. Crew
Bow: J. Crew
Bag: J. Crew
Pearls: J. Crew
Other necklace: J. Crew
Teavana tumbler: J. Crew
"It doesn't have to match, it just has to coordinate. Honestly, have you ever even looked at a Tommy Hilfiger ad?" - Birdie
Lilly Pulitzer-ing so hard in these sunnies and shorts

re: comment about nautical activity above
No ocean? No problem! We southerners are nothing if not attached to the nearest lake available. 
With no intentions to move to New England or anything, I have the sailboat daddy bought me for high school graduation tied up neatly to the dock at Grapevine lake. 

~Dreaming of Vineyard Vines and my summer trip to Nantucket where I'll actually look like I fit in~ *sigh*
Real talk tho mom do I look fabulous and like your dream come true? Cherish this moment. It's a rare one.


The southern bell/prepster is sweet as can be, but usually has better things to do, like getting her third daily fix of iced tea, memorizing another bible verse and practicing to sound just like Carrie Underwood.

Exhibit B. Country gal.
This look has been altered slightly in recent years to become something horribly gaudy...a style that should have never happened. Ever. Just think pink, rhinestones, giant gothic looking crosses and a really even more awkward, twisted vision of what Buckle was originally trying to do.
Also "southern gothic" but we won't even get into that.
We'll just go straight to the pure form that true country style was intended to be.

literally just hanging out by the shed (note the subtle california sign bc Holls can never forget her true roots)
This girl learned how to square dance without ever going to cotillion classes.
Her dad, cousin, and uncle all live in the same town (but on separate ranches duh) she grew up in

just observing the property (or the help daddy hired to move hay)
The epitome of the farmer's daughter featured in various hit country singles, this girl can shoot a whiskey and bleeds crimson whenever it's football season #rolltideroll

didn't randomly find this truck on the streets it's fine just go with it
America's favorite tailgater can be seen riding around in her brother's truck through some back dirt road to meet friends for a bonfire later and probably swimming in some lake before the cops arrive ~bare foot blue jean night/ice cold beer/honky tonk etc etc~

at the rv park for sunday dinner w/ the fam God bless America.

Getting along better with all of the southern belle's boyfriends, our country girl will always have three priorities in her life: Our Lord and Savior Jesus, learning family recipes, and supporting her daddy's role as chapter president of the NRA.
~~~guns don't kill people, people do~~~

so much country is happening right now

also cows.


So there you have it, folks. Birdie & Holls represent definitely not stereotypical perceptions of the two extremes of southern girls found in the South.


God bless you and yo mama and take a slice of pie with you for the road,
B & H