Wednesday, March 12, 2014

WWWW: Stereotypes (we all have 'em.)

“Ugh, freshmen. They’re all so EAGER.”
“The girls in the nursing school are all way hot.”
“Who do the psych students even think they are?”
“I’ve honestly never met an El-Ed major I didn’t like.”

These are just a few of the endless stereotypes I’ve overheard by friends, classmates, coworkers, complete strangers, etc. during my just-short-of 4 years as a student at a fantastic institute of higher learning. And let’s be honest, one would be hard-pressed to find ANYBODY who has never held a single pre-conceived notion about any other group they may or may not actually spend time with during your eternity in college.  
Here are a few more thanks to the internet:

Also, I'd be real surprised if you didn't run into any of these on campus or elsewhere.

The Moocher
Also known as “the senior who goes to extreme lengths to convince freshmen to cover them with their meal plans.” I won’t share with you the number of adorable dorm-dwelling pre-mish dreamboats I’ve batted my eyelashes at for a trip to the freshman cafeteria cereal bar.
The number is 7.

The Unassuming Genius
Have you ever wondered about Tibetan Sky Burials? My roommate, the fashion-forward costume design major who is the picture of elegance, happens to know the answer. About this and everything else you’ve ever wanted to know. Why does she know? Beats me. But she knows. 
Probably because of Tumblr, now that I think about it.

Person Who Thinks That They’re the Only One in a Hard Class with A Lot of Work
The guy who skips out on group projects because of “all the other homework he has” also mentions the word “Netflix” proportionately more than any other word in his tweets.  Trust me on this.

Frat Boys/Sorority Girls
At my university, we like to call them the “Bros and Hoes.” Honestly though, when I see a guy with great hair on campus who obviously owns at least 50 items of clothing made by Sperry, Ralph Lauren and whoever makes those weird seahorse shorts, it’s actually weirdly refreshing.

Artsy Fartsy Student
They all have secret extra piercings.  They’re also usually all weirdly into Asian stuff.

Music Kid
You absolutely fail college if you’ve never been in a band.

I just…what?

Do you feel judged by the clothes that OTHER people wear? Chances are this person is a hipster.

Adult Students
Wheely-backpack your hearts out, ladies!

If there was a time I managed to apply that amount of makeup by 8 am on a Monday I certainly do not remember.

In pursuit of finding creative ways to spend absolutely as little time on campus as possible. Also known for developing a very (un)healthy relationship with/dependence upon the “What-if calculator.”  Can also be identified a mile away by their looks of unadultered terror about actual “adulting” post-college. Freshmen have a similar wide-eyed and petrified look, but this is different and much more pathetic, I assure you.

And we can’t forget about stereotypes associated with majors.

“Future professors of America club”

Either the most beautiful creatures you’ve ever seen or rather repulsive. Hardly ever in between. Go to the business building to hear about the next party and for free food always.

Gentlemen in this major march to the beat of their own drum usually but WILL successfully seduce you with their non-native foreign sweet-nothings. 
“Ich Liebe freakin’ Dich babe.” 
Also talk to them if you had any interest in learning Elvish. I’m so serious.

If you want to steal a pair of white Reeboks, catch one of these dudes unawares.
And on that note: "Engineering is just sad physics," according to Reddit.

School of Family Life majors
Very much looking forward to meeting your perfect Brady Bunch family someday. Very much.

Disclaimer: I have very close friends who fall into most or all of these categories and I love them to pieces. 
I am also a Texan Psychology major so have your fun with that.

Judge away, minions. 
XOXO Birdie