Wednesday, March 26, 2014

WWWW: What is internet even

Hi hello, it is me, Birdie's friend Ashley, with an extra-special guest post for you today. I'll keep it short and sweet.

If there's one thing we millenials love, it's the internet. The internet is a magical place, full of wonders, with only one rule: NOTHING IS UNEXPECTED.

One place on the internet truly embodies this rule: a little place people like to call "that weird part of YouTube" (which in all honesty is about 85% of YouTube.) But some of its content is better than others. For your viewing pleasure I have compiled some of my favorite YouTube discoveries for you.


For that secret weird subpopulation that ships Ariel + Frollo? K.
















Here is the link to the playlist if you want to watch more ;)

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5o6AgdYQl8W6XzLjN1rhC_0YlL0iGCIM

In case you are wondering, I do have a blog, but unfortunately (or fortunately, as the case may be), it contains none of this content, and focuses mostly on serious spiritual stuff. But hey, if you're into that!

much hugz. many love. wow.

Monday, March 24, 2014

MM: Hit Singles You Love To Hate

There you are, driving by yourself in your car and counting up how many quarters you have in your cup holder so you can make use of the Dollar Menu at McD's when ~SUDDENLY~: you realize that you forgot the auxiliary cord to connect to your iPod and can't tune into your favorite Pandora station of choice (aka Lana Del Rey duh)


You take a deep breath and decide to try your luck with

public. radio. stations.



(camera spirals out dramatically as you cringe)

Radio station culture has evolved to keep folks interested in order to make up for hit songs that are overplayed to their metaphorical deaths. Ways to do this include:
1. Commenting on Popular Buzzfeed articles with awkward use of their soundboard 
2. Hosting contests for "random" callers (still don't know how folks manage to win these)


3. Having DJs with really attractive voices that make us almost want to look up what they look like in real life but then we never do because we're afraid it will shatter our perfect mental image
4. RYAN'S ROSES OMG <33



No matter how mediocre some of these ways are to trap the listener to stay on their station, the main purpose is to play hit singles of whatever genre that station associates with. Hit singles get huge for a reason: they are catchy. People are all about them for the first few months after a new song is released. They typically have great beats or a sick chorus.


However, these songs get overplayed literally for years and suddenly I now find myself eating my McDouble driving home to "Moves Like Jagger"(2011).  Stop judging me, you eat in your car, too. 

Finding it hard to remember why we even liked a particular hit in the first place after listening to it for years, we have established a love/hate relationship with popular songs.

~The Process~
:/
*hears song*
"UGH. Hate this song." 
*flips through the other stations* 
*finds self back on original station*
 "LET ME BE YOUR RULER (RuUuULER), YOU CAN CALL ME QUEEN BEE"
*after song:


Can't think of any songs that have this effect on you? The Bird and I have (unfortunately) got you covered:



Cheers!


p.s. I'm going to need to have a talk with whoever is still requesting Eminem/Rihanna's "The Monster" followed by promptly questioning more of their life choices.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

FFF: Southern Life- Boat Shoes and Belt Buckles

Hey! How y'all doin' tonight?
One of the goals we have here on (Faux) Fashion Friday (or Saturday in this case)
is to accurately represent each group we "feature."
Clearly.
We've gone to extensive lengths to closely research what is in style for workout moms, puff jacket-wearers, attendees of Sundance and the like.

So...for today we've got our own expert southerner, Birdie, to show us the two vastly different styles that can be found in the deep south.

(side note: TEXAS IS THE SOUTH SO TAKE YOUR WEAK IDIOTIC ARGUMENTS ELSEWHERE I AM CLEARLY VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS - BIRDIE)

Anyway. What you'll find on the southern half of this great nation of ours is two very different flavors of southern.

Exhibit A. Southern Prepster/Southern Belle
(usually interchangeable but we won't generalize just in case)
Variations on this may include actual southern belles from large plantation families with a TON of old Southern money.
Also college-age sorority girls wearing their (always bright colored) Martha's vineyard oversize t-shirts, visors, fanny packs, and...get this: Chacos. What?

"Tell me about it, stud."
(Grease actually takes place on the west coast but try and tell me that's not a fitting caption)
A Southern prepster/southern belle can be located a mile away by her wardrobe full of outlandishly bright colors, pearl necklaces, sundresses, and nautical wear, despite the fact that very rarely does this demographic actually engage in any kind of ocean sailing (more on this later)

Mint nails and a handful of James Avery rings - A MUST
(none of these rings are actually from James Avery tho-All from national park giftshops.
Just kidding. J. Crew.)
Perfectly manicured down to the very detail, this girl never leaves home without a topcoat and her berry lip stain.

Sweater: J. Crew
Button down: J. Crew
Shorts: J. Crew
Knee highs: J. Crew
Sperrys: J. Crew
Sunnies: J. Crew
Bow: J. Crew
Bag: J. Crew
Pearls: J. Crew
Other necklace: J. Crew
Teavana tumbler: J. Crew
"It doesn't have to match, it just has to coordinate. Honestly, have you ever even looked at a Tommy Hilfiger ad?" - Birdie
Lilly Pulitzer-ing so hard in these sunnies and shorts

re: comment about nautical activity above
No ocean? No problem! We southerners are nothing if not attached to the nearest lake available. 
With no intentions to move to New England or anything, I have the sailboat daddy bought me for high school graduation tied up neatly to the dock at Grapevine lake. 

~Dreaming of Vineyard Vines and my summer trip to Nantucket where I'll actually look like I fit in~ *sigh*
Real talk tho mom do I look fabulous and like your dream come true? Cherish this moment. It's a rare one.


The southern bell/prepster is sweet as can be, but usually has better things to do, like getting her third daily fix of iced tea, memorizing another bible verse and practicing to sound just like Carrie Underwood.

Exhibit B. Country gal.
This look has been altered slightly in recent years to become something horribly gaudy...a style that should have never happened. Ever. Just think pink, rhinestones, giant gothic looking crosses and a really even more awkward, twisted vision of what Buckle was originally trying to do.
Also "southern gothic" but we won't even get into that.
We'll just go straight to the pure form that true country style was intended to be.

literally just hanging out by the shed (note the subtle california sign bc Holls can never forget her true roots)
This girl learned how to square dance without ever going to cotillion classes.
Her dad, cousin, and uncle all live in the same town (but on separate ranches duh) she grew up in

just observing the property (or the help daddy hired to move hay)
The epitome of the farmer's daughter featured in various hit country singles, this girl can shoot a whiskey and bleeds crimson whenever it's football season #rolltideroll

didn't randomly find this truck on the streets it's fine just go with it
America's favorite tailgater can be seen riding around in her brother's truck through some back dirt road to meet friends for a bonfire later and probably swimming in some lake before the cops arrive ~bare foot blue jean night/ice cold beer/honky tonk etc etc~

at the rv park for sunday dinner w/ the fam God bless America.

Getting along better with all of the southern belle's boyfriends, our country girl will always have three priorities in her life: Our Lord and Savior Jesus, learning family recipes, and supporting her daddy's role as chapter president of the NRA.
~~~guns don't kill people, people do~~~

so much country is happening right now

also cows.


So there you have it, folks. Birdie & Holls represent definitely not stereotypical perceptions of the two extremes of southern girls found in the South.


God bless you and yo mama and take a slice of pie with you for the road,
B & H

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

WWWW: The War on Women Ft. Parenting

Hi. 
Holls here posting another feature on the series I started a bit ago on the War on Women (first post ft. rape culture can be found here)

This time I attempt to understand parenting from a woman's perspective and as a daughter of a single mother. Unfortunately, I don't have a rascal of my own yet so take my remarks for what they're worth, eh?

The War on Women: Parenting

Earlier this week I was involved in a discussion about families and the roles that parents play in children’s lives. Things were going fine and dandy and we were all bringing up some really great insights. We began talking about what we all want in a prospective partner and someone in the group pulled out his imaginary soap box and began preaching about how this society has gone to the pits because women aren’t there to raise their children like they used to because more of them are working outside of the home and these actions set children up for failure.


k.

After I wrapped my head around his argument, my friend Jake had to restrain me from verbally castrating him (right before I finished picketing in Washington or whatever some folks think feminists do in their spare time). What actually ensued after his remarks is another story entirely. For the purpose of this post, I’m going to attempt to reflect on his claim because I know that he’s not the only one that holds it and some of you may not see anything wrong with what he said.

(source)


Besides having an incredibly large scope for which working women can influence an entire society so abruptly (such pressure!), this guy's firm declaration does have some logical points. Traditionally, women have been seen as primarily responsible for raising children in the home. Different religions often teach of the divine attributes and characteristics that women posses that make them particularly good at raising children. (Side note: don’t ever ask me to babysit your child. It’s allegedly frowned upon to play Hunger Games with them and trap them under laundry baskets. Whatever.)

nifty graph
As you can tell from the nifty graph above, it's true. The amount of mothers that are working outside of the home has increased over the years. Both married and single mothers are working more. Let's go over the causes of why some mothers are working more than they were fifty years ago. Equality in the workplace has slowly increased in this time. More women have been progressively seeking higher education which generally leads to a better job outlook. Cool. Divorce is much more frequent than it used to be, maybe pushing women into the workforce when preferably they'd rather be at home. Understandable. You've got to make ends meet. 

Some women like to work. Some women genuinely are fulfilled through participation in the workplace. Whatever their reason for working, it is first important to state that this is completely their choice and should never be subject to criticism by anyone else. In the fluid and changing society we're currently living in, we're going to adapt to our environments. It is never okay to rebuke a woman for having career goals because that is not what you want for your own family. Although some may not care for this insight, women can still fulfill their responsibilities as caring and nurturing mothers and still work outside the home/inside the home/in her freaking car. (Another side note: whatever your priorities are for your family, I would suggest being very transparent with your significant other about them from the beginning. Keeps everyone on the same page, feel me?) 

ugh how is she supposed to raise the kid when she's not giving him attention 24/7 uggggh #badmom (source)
a man holding a child?!!! V controversial! Why does she look like she's working instead of caring for the fam THINK OF THE CHILD (source)

With that said, let's reflect on how this can influence raising children. At the risk of overgeneralizing, I'm going to make a claim of my own: those that believe in the traditional responsibilities of mothers (i.e. staying in the home, cooking for the family, picking up the kids from school, etc) generally have either cultural or religious beliefs behind this. These are valid reasons for believing in the traditional role of mothers. I'm also going to make the claim that a good amount of these individuals probably believe that the best condition for the success of a child is found within the lawful union between a heterosexual couple. For those of you who agree with this guy's claim and hold the beliefs that I just mentioned, I have a few questions I'd like for you to reflect on. 

~Reflective Questions~
1. Is the husband and father not capable of having the characteristics and attributes of a wife and mother? Aren't gentleness and meekness the overarching characteristics of Christ who we all attempt to strive to be like? 
2. If your answer to number 1 was "yeah, but not in the same way", great! With that answer, you are implying that there are other ways for the husband and father to properly raise their children. Some words like, providing for them, protecting them, etc may come to mind. Awesome.

So, there ARE responsibilities that the father has which can also contribute to the success of the child. Claiming that women are failing their children because they are working outside of the home (aka providing, which was just mentioned as a contributing factor to the success of a child) seems kind of one sided, if you think about it. Men aren't chopped liver by any means. They can also contribute to the success of the children (and do!) as well and don't have to be bound by particular actions in order to properly raise their children. It takes two, bby (if you hold that belief that you're a lawfully wedded heterosexual couple).

luv <3 (source)


Last point:
Raise your hand if you know a family with the absolute greatest parents, ever. They seem to make all of the right moves about raising their kids, probably have fantastic Instagrams, and really hold on to those ~family values~. Keep your hands up if you know that one or more of their children are *bad seeds* gaspgaspgasp. You wonder, "Where did these parents go wrong? They seemed to have it together and tried their hardest with that child" Shoot, the mom may have even been a homemaker. Parents can do all they can to try and help their children be successful individuals in this life, but ultimately, children are going to make their own decisions and will be accountable for them. So parents, stop beating yourselves up for how your children turn out. If you tried your hardest to teach them values that you believe will make them successful (whether working outside the home or not), you're not at fault. I respect you. A lot.

source

Likewise, a kid can come from a broken home or an environment with a working mom and not end up on the streets of Compton. My parents divorced before I started jr high and my dad passed away when I was in high school. My mom is still single and has been a career minded individual my entire life. She still managed to raise children that didn't turn out as screw ups (yo but I'm still hood tho, don't get it twisted). Is my family the exception to the rule of working moms leading to the downfall of society? I don't see it that way. Is the threshold for kids to succeed going to be higher for those in a broken home? I'd say probably yes, but the environments we're all raised in can only come into play for so long. We are in charge of our own success through our own actions. It's unfair to place the blame on parents and particularly women for the success/failure of their children.


So hats off to you if you're doing this whole parenting thing alone, together, working, not working, being a ~work out mom~. If your'e trying your hardest for your kid in whatever way works for you, I'm about it.
actual photograph of me as a mother someday.
Cheers,
Holls

Monday, March 17, 2014

MM: Walking away from explosions.

Welcome.
I'm going to cut right to the chase here and say that this part of the semester sucks.
SUCKS.

There always seems to be 19 things left on my to-do list, no matter how many things get done.
And get this: by my graduation date, I'll have written 16 papers this semester alone.
SIXTEEN. PAPERS.
Not including blog posts and articles for the student review.
Yeah.


So for today, we have a post for you on what it feels like to cross something off your list.
What it feels like to press submit on that sucker.
What it feels like to exit out of the 39 tabs you have open for that 7 page French thesis
(oh sorry that's just me)
I'm dead serious when I say it feels a little something like this:








AWWW YISSSS.
No idea what your grade is going to be on completed assignment,
but it doesn't even matter at this point.
What's done is done and you don't have to look at the stupid thing anymore.
We on the same page here?
Oh yeah.





So, for your listening pleasure, here are some songs to get you pumped up when you're putting the final touches on your "virtual museum exhibit" projects and Personal Leadership Development Plans (sorry, that's me again) before sending them away into the interwebs and onto your professor's desk to be mercilessly ripped apart, as well as some songs to accompany your lives as you metaphorically walk away from those giant explosions in your lives
WITHOUT. EVER. LOOKING. BACK.

    
BxH

Saturday, March 15, 2014

FFF: Workout moms/Ultimate White girls

Yo.
First thing's first.
WE HAVE A WINNER!!
Check the Rafflecopter here to see if you won our giveaway!

Onward.

What's more important than wearing sports gear the whole day after not working out?
Literally nothing.

Very important to understand that we are glad to pose near mountains and other nature (with our dogs especially) but no actual nature will be experienced. Nope.
They're subtly all around us: The women that wear work out clothes the entire day but maybe only did 20 minutes of zumba in the morning.


We like to call them:

WORK OUT MOMS <3

Characteristics:
leggings
running shoes (sans actual running in them ever)
the most beautifully done make up
head bands and pony tails
North Face everything
dogs
starbucks duh

What kinda ~active~ day would this be without 9 pounds of makeup?

"Here get me in front of the Starbucks logo" *Logo doesn't show up in pic*
It's important that work out moms only get their coffee related products from Starbucks. There is no other way that individuals are going to believe they can afford such a lavish lifestyle while being completely fit and utterly happy.

Birdie and Jillian the dog on their way back to Bird's totally not ironic SUV that only actually has 2-wheel drive, so no "Sport Utility" activities are actually done in said vehicle.
They also have their keys in their hands at all times tied to some sort of lanyard representing where they go to the gym. Keychains will include their gym membership.

Outfit: All from the most pretentious and expensive workout stores you can imagine.

Can't be a real post-workout starbucks trip sans lipstick stain
The work out mom can most easily be seen frequenting any kind of shopping establishment while all of her children are at school and husband is supporting her luxurious lifestyle

omg hey gurl just got done w my pilates

ugh where did i put my phone
Nobody actually knows what is in the bags of workout moms. Speculations include: CamelBak water bottles, actual novels from respected authors they haven't cracked open, Coach wallets the size of a small newborn, and travel make-up bags.

Bags can range anywhere from 10-35 pounds.

just pickin up the kids from karate omg put the camera away i look like a mess
If you're not constantly posing for GoogleEarth in your SUV on the way to pick up the kids, you're not work out mom-ing right.

omg about to work out yay LUV running <3
No one has actually ever seen the work out mom perform any kind of exercise. Photos of stretching are the closest thing our photographers could get before work out moms get back on their Pinterest app and pin boards related to Nike and update their facebook statuses with their new mile times under 8 minutes.

v important to stretch

Work out moms should be taken seriously. This population will end up making you feel extremely uncomfortable about your body/life whenever you see them waiting outside of the car to pick up their kids and talking to their teachers about how much their children are excelling loudly enough for everyone to hear.

They will not hesitate to power walk all over you if you begin to question their third soy caramel macchiato with whipped cream.

Pilate on,
B & H